- Keep the fires burning well past the “Honeymoon Phase”
- Create a foundation that’s built to last
- Make sure your relationship never gets boring
- Attract and identify your perfect partner
- My #1 Rule for lasting love
How To Have Him At “Hello” Every Time
Partners newly in love have very emotional responses when they gratefully reunite after time apart. Even though there is a high probability they will see each other again, they know it is not an absolute certainty.
Unfortunately, as intimate relationships mature, many partners let these important rituals diminish or lapse entirely.
Couples who once made clear that their sacred, intimate re-connection and separation experiences were top priority sadly allow them to diminish in importance. More pressing priorities emerge and many couples take for granted what they once carefully treasured.
The Roots Of Attachment
When you open the front door to where your two-year-old awaits your homecoming, you won’t have a chance to put down whatever is in your hands, read the mail, go to the bathroom, make a phone call, or leave the spot at which you are attacked with voracious affection. That small child doesn’t care about anything but full body contact and feeling secure once more within your arms.
Similarly, when you separate from that small child, you can expect the same level of passion, though it is likely to be more of an intense protest. Not having the understanding or temporal ability to go forward in time, he or she fears you will never return, and will use every possible tactic to keep you there as long as possible. The woeful cries you hear are earnest and desperate, as is the anxiety that accompanies them. In some core place in that child’s heart, you might disappear.
Re-creating Sacred Attachments
I have counseled couples of all ages and at every stage of their relationships for almost four decades. Though most partners come asking for help with long-standing relationship issues, some are in shock and deep grief when an unexpected tragedy has struck.
The sadness of an irrevocable loss without warning leaves the other partner shattered and totally unprepared. He or she must not only suffer the trauma of that event, but also the anguishing regrets of reconnection opportunities now forever lost. In the depths of sorrow, those left grieving often ache for just one more chance to say, do, or take back something they did.
I have often been given the privilege of being included in these sorrowful moments. Those experiences have given me a gift I may otherwise not have known as deeply.
I have learned to honor and treasure one of life’s most precious existential truths: the guarantee of security is only an illusion and the future is not predictable. That conscious knowledge inspires me to make the decision to treasure what is until it is not, and to share that perspective with my patients who still have each other.
Make Every Moment With Him Count
When anyone you love leaves your presence for any reason, for any destination, or for any period of time, don’t ever just casually say goodbye.
As you part, remember in your heart what your relationship means to you, always remembering that this could be the last time you might see each other. When you are given the blessing of their returning, welcome that opportunity as the gift it is, another chance to live the relationship as you want it to become.
If you treat every leaving and greeting ritual with that kind of treasuring, you will also receive a wonderful bonus. The conscious intent to treasure saying “goodbye” and “hello” with the gratitude that should accompany both becomes the foundation for extending that appreciation to other parts of your relationship.
Couples who have not forgotten to treasure the blessing of continuing their relationship practice their separation and connection rituals with the same sincerity and devotion as they did when their love was new.
They have discovered the core wisdom that not only is love precious and that it can be taken from them at any time, but that being fully present in parting and reconnecting with their loved ones reconfirms what they mean to each other while they are still together.
When you subscribe to receive my free relationship advice newsletter (below), I’ll teach you how to keep the connection in your relationship absolutely sacred. You’ll learn:
- How to rediscover the magic of your courtship – and how to infuse your relationship with those positive feelings while creating new, exciting moments in the present.
- The common mistakes couples make that cause them to feel boredom and dissatisfaction in their relationship – being vigilant about these potential pitfalls will give you an enormous edge in navigating the inevitable ebb and flow that any intimate relationship will experience.
- Why breaking up is often a big mistake and not the answer to relationship dissatisfaction – you’ll learn how you can turn your current relationship into the one you’ve always longed for.
And if you’re already in a relationship and now wish you would have known all this at the beginning, it’s not too late for you. You can do just as my clients have done: build the right habits and skills to recapture the romance you once shared and create an even more connected future.
You’ll now understand what likely went wrong in your relationship, and you’ll know what to do to get things back on track.
You Don’t Need Advice. You Need Results. Get Them Here.
Read It Risk-FREE For 7 Days
All you need to create profoundly satisfying, fully authentic, fiercely committed love.
This book is the culmination of 4 degrees, thousands of patients, two counseling licenses, and over 40 years of practice.
It’s my life’s work, and I know it will change your life.
Who is Dr. Randi?
In my 40 years as a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, I’ve helped people understand why their relationships start out euphoric only to crumble, and what skills they need for lasting love.
The greatest obstacles between you and the love you want is often right before your eyes, but hard to see on your own. My specialty is to help you look at your relationships with heroic honesty, so you can affect powerful change.
My husband and I have practiced this every day for over 60 years, and nothing could be sweeter or more transformative. I know I can create radical change in you too, if you are willing to go on this exciting adventure.
What is Heroic Love?
True, lasting love can only come from partners who are willing to be heroic. They dare to be authentic, they commit fiercely to their love, and they embrace transformative change.
Like any hero’s journey, there will be challenges to overcome, demons to battle, and hearts to save. But, like a flower coming up through asphalt, love that is earned is all the more precious for the effort it took.
Heroic love isn’t boring, or taken for granted, or dishonest. It is the kind of love you commit to every day, both because you treasure it enormously, and because it is the agent of adventure, excitement and fulfillment in your life. Who you are, how you grow, becomes perfectly entwined with the heart of another. You are both stronger as individuals, and as a team.
It is the sweetest, and most beautiful, of rewards.