This is an exciting message, because we’re going to talk about your future husband.
Yes, that special man who is on this planet right now, waiting for you to come into his life.
It might seem hard to get your head around this, especially if you’ve been single for a while and have had lots of ups and downs in your search for love.
You’ve heard so much advice, put yourself “out there”, and have tried to keep an open mind. But as a marriage and family therapist for the past 40 years, I’m going to give you a very different take on what makes a good husband.
You see, I’ve counseled many, many couples. After all these years, I now know the magic ingredients that make for a good husband. If some of my women clients had known about these ingredients before, they might have made different choices and married a man who was better able to create a healthy relationship.
How many times have you met someone you clicked with initially… only to be disappointed later on?
How do you know if your boyfriend or the man sitting across from you on a date can create with you the kind of relationship you deserve?
How do you know if you’ll be able to lean on him during difficult times, if he’ll have your back, and if he’ll work with you to resolve the challenges any couple will face?
What elevates him from just a fun date to a mate in heart, body, mind, and soul?
You don’t want just a date or a boyfriend, you want a “keeper” – someone who will be a true partner to you, for the long haul.
Keepers exhibit a set of beliefs, actions, and ideals that keep relationships thriving through the good times and the bad.
This doesn’t mean you need to compromise on physical attraction or other qualities that are important to you. It means that when you find someone you do click with, you’ll want to make sure they also have the qualities of a keeper:
A Keeper is not afraid to question himself. He’ll get his ego out of the way in order to listen to you, reflect on his behavior, and ask himself what he can do to make your relationship better. He’ll never set out to win at your expense – he’d rather be happy with you than be right.
Yet he’s not a doormat – he won’t automatically give up his point of view when you challenge him. He’ll hold his integrity under fire, but he’ll also expect the same from you.
Men who find the humor in life are more resilient to disappointments. He won’t laugh inappropriately or use humor to mock, but he maintains a healthy sense of perspective and can laugh at himself.
He has learned the value of timing and has a compassionate heart – he knows when to be serious as well as when to cheer you up with a good joke. His willingness to appreciate the ups and downs of relationships – without getting too serious about it – makes you feel safe.
Keepers feel responsible for what they say or do. He won’t pretend to be someone he’s not, or automatically agree with something that doesn’t feel right.
He wants to be transparent because he doesn’t play games.
He’d rather hear the truth from you, too, even if it’s uncomfortable. Keepers choose partners who value them for their honesty. He doesn’t take that right lightly, nor will he use his authenticity to unnecessarily point out other’s faults.
Keepers are committed to learning from the past and projecting the future more effectively. To do that, he will willingly seek to learn from his mistakes and reach for his dreams.
Most people will choose security and predictability over challenge or change. Keepers successfully blend the two. He will cherish traditions but always search for better ways to help himself and others. This way of being makes him ever interesting and exciting to be around.
I don’t want you to waste anymore time finding the love of your life.
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To create a deeply satisfying, long-term relationship, you need to start with the right ingredients. It’s my mission to help you create Heroic Love, starting right now.