There Are “Keepers,” And There Are “Charmers.” Here's How To Spot The Kind Of Person Who Will Make You Happy For Life

Heroic Love

How do you know if your date or current mate is a “keeper?”

You’ve met seemingly great people before. But sooner or later, things fall apart, your dream date disappoints you, and you are back to square one.

You have a pretty good mental list of what you want and don’t want in a romantic partner. But when you think you’ve found it, you just end up heartbroken and alone.

You want to love and be loved by someone who will be the center of your universe, and you theirs. The kind of person that makes you feel instantly at ease the moment they walk into a room.

Like whatever is going on, you know that everything will be okay now that he or she is here.

You want a person who is wise and emotionally intelligent, but who’s also compassionate and loving. They emanate an energy of relaxed confidence and lightheartedness. They can make you laugh but they’re whom you want to turn to when you’re in need of a shoulder to cry on.

They are simply beautiful, inside and out.

If you were to have this person as your soulmate, lover and life partner, you’d never ever dream of leaving.

But after endless failed dates, disappointing relationships, and lonely nights, you are starting to wonder:

Does this person even exist?

Well, after counseling yearning singles for over 4 decades I can tell without hesitation:

YES!

But you need to know how to spot one.

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Keepers Aren’t The People You Think They Are

Extraordinary romantic partners like this are often just ordinary people, but they see things differently.

They understand that it’s not what you’ve accomplished in this world, or what you own, or how great you can compete that makes you a successful relationship partner, but who you are as a person, and how you make others feel in your presence.

These are the Keepers. And whether or not you’re aware of it, you’ve spent your entire life searching for one.

You’ve longed for a love that’s transformative and soul-satisfying. Unfortunately, the relationships you’ve had until now have fallen short of that. They haven’t stood the test of time or even gotten off the ground.

Perhaps it’s because of bad timing. Or because your partner disappointed you or you disappointed them. Or maybe they didn’t see long term potential with you.

There’s always something missing, in yourself or in your partner.

Sincere and hardworking relationship seekers like you tell me these kinds of things every day. They are discouraged. They throw their arms up in frustration,

“Where Is The Person I’m Supposed To Love?”

Perhaps you’ve started to lose hope that a lasting, deeply gratifying love is even in your future.

After all, you watch other relationships around you grow more distant and abrasive. These relationships start out seeming so idyllic, but underneath are buried resentments, anger and criticism. Before long, you start hearing how unhappy these couples are, or that someone cheated or lied or simply “checked out” of the relationship.

You don’t want to fall in love with someone just to have that happen to you, too.

You don’t want to settle.

You want a love that you’ll treasure with a person who excites and inspires you.

You don’t want it to be “easy” because easy can become “boring” over time.

You don’t want it to be a stress-inducing mess, either.

You want a relationship that will make both your lives happier, and motivate you to become better people in the process.

You want a heroic love.

But you’ll be the first person to admit that finding the kind of partner with whom you can have that kind of relationship isn’t easy.

You know, because you’ve tried, and failed, many times.

Maybe along the way you’ve gotten advice from questionable “experts” with flashy promises. They’ll tell you that you’ll find “The One” if you focus on certain qualities:

“Polish your external package. Master your poise. Then put yourself in a target-rich environment of people who have hobbies similar to yours. Then all will end well.”

Well, it doesn’t. That focus on the superficial and pre-packaged has not worked out very well for you. It’s no wonder…

Most Relationships Based On Things Like “Sexual Chemistry” Or Common Interests Fail

As nice as chemistry and common interests are, they are NOT the basis for lasting love.

The intensity of physical attraction and sexual chemistry fades, and then you’re left having to deal with all those little personality quirks of theirs that at first were only slightly annoying, but in time have come to drive you totally crazy.

Common interests and hobbies are nice, but they can’t overcome fundamental deal breakers like cheating, lying, workaholism or sexual disinterest. People change, interests change, and besides, doing things together won’t keep your love strong if you are fighting all the time.

What’s worse, by spending all your time and energy focusing on these temporary distractions, we miss the clues that tell us if a person is REALLY suitable for a long term commitment.

So, if being physically attracted to each other and liking the same kinds of things aren’t predictors of long-term relationship success and happiness, what is?

I believe I have found the answer.

Over my 40-year career and after 100,000 hours of counseling couples, I’ve observed two kinds of people.

There are those who seem to effortlessly succeed at relationships.

And then there are those who seem to sabotage their relationships.

The ones that sabotage their relationships aren’t aware of how their behavior is slowly destroying their relationships.

They aren’t sensitive to your needs, so you keep telling them how you’re unhappy but nothing changes. They have destructive habits that sometimes turn into addictions. They hold back their true feelings and then drop bombshells on you when you least expect it. The list goes on…

On the other hand, in relationships where partners feel comforted, loved, secure and valued, both partners seem to have something in common.

Time and time again I see that the Keepers – those remarkable people that are a treasure to know and love – all have a set of 12 core personal characteristics.

These 12 personal characteristics reliably predict long-term relationship happiness.

It doesn’t matter if there are very few common interests between you.

It doesn’t matter what age you are, or how long you’ve been together.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve experienced “love at first sight” or you were friends who grew to love each other over time.

If you and your partner have these 12 core characteristics, or even if you’re in the process of developing and working on these characteristics, you are virtually guaranteed to love, grow and take delight in each other for a lifetime if you so choose.

In fact, if you or a partner is missing JUST ONE of these 12 core characteristics, it can be a deal-breaker in your relationship.

You may hang in there together for a while, but over time it will be very difficult for you to fully love that person and vice versa.

The Secret Formula For Transformative Love

If you know what these characteristics are, how to spot them in a partner and how to cultivate them in yourself, you would have the secret formula for finding and keeping the kind of transformative love that can stand the test of time and bring you great joy.

You’d stop wasting precious time and emotional energy on relationships that simply can’t work, and invest your time into those that can.

(And you’ll stop inadvertently scaring off the keepers you meet… because if you aren’t a keeper, you can’t keep a keeper!)

For most people, having access to this kind of insider knowledge can be a game changer when it comes to love.

Heroic Love

This is why I’ve developed my audio program, Finding Keepers.

In it, I reveal the 12 characteristics crucial to relationship success and long-lasting love. Plus, I’ll take you through a process that will allow you to recognize those characteristics in yourself and others.

This will empower you to recognize a Keeper when you meet one, and eliminate any prospects that may look good on the surface, but are not in fact, a Keeper.

Maybe you’re currently in a relationship where some of these characteristics are lacking in your partner. If that’s the case, there’s good news. The relationship can change for the better as long as you have the right information to begin with and know the steps to take to steer the relationship in the right direction.

I’ll also provide advice on how you can develop these characteristics in yourself, so that you can become the very kind of remarkable partner you hope to have in your life. A partner no one would dream of abandoning!

The beauty of this process is that anyone can learn these 12 ways of being.

It doesn’t matter what age you are, what your physical appearance is, whether you’re successful financially, what you’ve been taught to believe or witnessed when you grew up.

All it takes is knowledge and commitment to change.

In Finding Keepers, you’ll learn how to attract and keep the kind of love you really deserve.

In this 2+ hour audio program, you’ll also get:

  • A highly effective, time-tested formula of evaluating a prospective romantic partner that’s based on 40 years of observations and real-world experience working with couples, so you can feel assured you’re not wasting your time on superficial qualities that, in the long run, tell you nothing about whether or not they’re right for you or can make you happy.
  • Very specific examples that show you how to recognize each one of the 12 critical characteristics, based on what your partner says to you on a first date, when there’s an uncomfortable situation, when you’ve made a silly mistake, and more.
  • Clear and direct advice on cultivating each of the 12 characteristics in yourself, so that you can be the kind of partner from whom no one would ever dream of abandoning.
  • How to pinpoint which characteristic is missing in your current partner, so you can quickly decide whether to invest more time and effort in the relationship or walk away now. You can also use the information to improve or fix a strained relationship because you’ll learn how to cultivate that characteristic.
  • A self-evaluation quiz that will let you know in minutes whether or not you or your partner are a Keeper, and what to do if you’re not.
  • A valuable quick-reference guide in PDF format you can print out that will accelerate your understanding of the 12 characteristics and enable you to recognize, develop and cultivate each of the characteristics.

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Discover The Secret To A Lasting, Soul-Satisfying Love

Finding Keepers

Try my program risk-free for 7 days and:

  • Find a life-long partner worthy of your love
  • Develop the qualities that make you irresistible to a Keeper
  • Transform a relationship from just good to extraordinary
  • Prevent heartache from wasting years with the wrong partner

Finding Keepers Can Save You Months or Even Decades of Emotional Headaches

When you can recognize a Keeper, you won’t waste valuable time on someone who may never make you happy or commit to a real relationship.

At the same time, being the kind of person that no one wants to lose requires a continuous commitment to being reborn, in the presence of what you already know.

It means you must always be ready to be an emotional immigrant, carrying your beautiful bag of treasures from the past, into new possibilities in the future that would never happen were you not willing to risk that journey.

Finding Keepers can help you follow through with that commitment.

As you learn to recognize the Keepers and get close to becoming a Keeper yourself, you may lose and gain people along the way. The people who are attached to old patterns may not be able to come with you on your journey. But those that are on the same path of transformation would never risk losing you.

In the end, you’ll find that the destination – that soul-satisfying love – has been worth the effort and time you’ve invested along the way.

That’s the ultimate reward for your brave journey to heroic love.

Fondly,

Dr. Randi Gunther